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Struggling To Make That Dollar


This work has been submitted to the public on 07-Dec-2015 16:23 and is therefore protected by Copyright law as from this date. Protection is only sought on what has been made public on this page - any links to external sites or references to documents which have not been included are not covered within this protection.

Copyright Category: Other Categories
Type of Work: Literary
Copyright Holder: Jane Dabish
Year Published / Made Public in: 2015
Date Added to Copyright Register: 07-Dec-2015 16:23
Last updated: 07-Dec-2015 16:23


Literary Copyright Work Details:

Struggling to make that dollar By Jane Dabish

 

CC

I hate freezing my ass off just to make that dollar.

Duda We’ll its life we all struggle to make that green crabby dollar.

CC

I know we do.

Duda Just call your movie “Struggling to Make that Dollar”, just like a hooker who hollers for a dollar.

CC You’re right?

Duda

I always am. Fade to the credits rolling

CC Hello I’m petitioning to legalize marijuana for recreational reasons.

Skinny

I’m not interested in signing because if anyone wants to get high they can get high!

CC

Wow! You got a point. I’m adding this in my movie, since you’ve inspired me.

CC

Hello. I’m Petitioning to legalize marijuana for recreational reasons. I’d appreciated it, if you sign it. Duda I sure will. That’s what I do every day since I’m a musician. That shit makes me more creative.

CC Really?

Duda Yes I wake and bake, every damn day, and I’m proud of it.

CC

Then maybe you should be petitioning with a joint in your mouth as you say, “Are you a registered voter?” Then many people would sign it as they are sampling it.

Duda

Why would I need to think? I’m a puppet! So you can smoke one for me, smart-ass.

CC

Well, for me petitioning is like drug dealing without the drugs.

You smell like a joint while you are petitioning. This way you can wake and bake and make money all at the same time.

Duda

You got a point. Where do I go to start? CC Here’s the business card. Tell them Jane referred you. This way I can get paid referring you without selling drugs.

Duda

Geez thanks. Fade to:

CC

Excuse me. Are you a registered voter?

Foreign guy No, I’m a boater. Actually I’m not citizen, so I can’t sign.

CC Wait! I can give you a green card, and then you can sign it.

Foreign guy

How’s that?

CC I can marry you and make your life much simpler.

Foreign guy Why is that? Do you mean life is hard for me? Life is hard for me. Why is that?

CC Yes, you’re that type. Speaking of type, since you have a sexy accent, you’re my type.

Foreign Guy Thanks. I’m a boater, you understand me?

CC Yes, I can just stare at your beauty so it shouldn’t manner. I love your sexy voice so I’m sure I can relate to you.

Foreign guy

Thank you. You have boyfriend?

CC No. Foreign guy Give me your number.

CC Here. (Cut to me writing it on his hand)

FADE To: CC Excuse me. Are you a registered voter?

Skinny No, but I’m registered to be certified crazy, does that count?

CC Yes, since we all have a crazy side.

Skinny Do you want me to show you what crazy is? I’ll show you what crazy is!

CC Damn! You sound crazy just telling me this.

Skinny That’s because I have good acting skills.

CC Just like most people on FB. They actually fake everything until they make it. Where have you’ve acted?

Skinny All over. Don’t you recognize me? I’m known. That’s why I’m crazy, like most in the world.

CC You’re right.

Skinny (points to herself) I always am.

CC

Oh okay. Would you rather be right or wrong?

Skinny Both. First I have to prove my point before feeling wrong. Sort of like lawyers do when they lie.

CC

What are you going to do lie yourself into being crazy? *What are you going to do lie as if you act crazy?

Skinny

No, because it’s not hard to be crazy. We all can be.

CC

Really?

Skinny (points) Yes, even you. You have a crazy side to you, besides it takes one to know one.

CC

I’m glad you’ve figured that out. Fade to:

CC

Hello I’m petitioning to legalize marijuana for recreational reasons.

Old lady You better go peddle that somewhere else, because it’s not going to fly in Farmington. Just like in California! That gay crap won’t work!

CC Wait, I can’t peddle. I’m talented, but not that talented. Old lady Oh yeah? Take your business elsewhere!

CC

You mind your own business, since I’m handling mine! Old lady (points) You better work your ass down on Woodward.

CC

I’m not a hooker, but how about if I make you the old hag hooker and profit off you each time you walk down the street? Old lady Go peddle it down the other street.

CC

I can peddle you down the street because I can make you the hooker of Farmington Hills, since your dressed for it. Old lady Whatever. That’s not going to fly.

CC (Mumbles) It will fly because most want to get high, except for me because my real name is Jane and that’s all I attract is high on’s.

Old lady Whatever. No use fussing with you. I better scout myself out of here.

CC Fine. Goodbye.

Duda Speaking of fly, I bet she was high as a kite but she’d never admit it, since she smelled like it.

CC

I bet. Continued scenes Fade to: CC I’m petitioning to legalize marijuana for recreational reasons.

Bryan Wow, great I need it for medical purposes, so I’ll sign it.

CC Thank you.

Bryan Are you a user too?

CC No, I’m just doing this because it’s a part of the company.

Bryan Wow, you must be a strong women to do all this.

CC

Why?

Bryan

It takes lots of will power to mention marijuana to people.

CC

We’ll the last time I checked, I do have muscles so I’m a tough broad.

Bryan

Let me check to see how tough you really are. Can you please flex your muscles next to me?

CC

Sorry I can’t need to go back to work. Besides it’s not show and tell now. Cut to the old lady that fussed earlier. Why are you still here? I thought you’d peddle it somewhere else.

CC

I can work wherever I want. Old lady No you can’t, because it’s never going to fly in Farmington.

CC

Look it’s my job so mind your own business.

Old lady (points to her mind) I don’t have a mind, so how am I going to mind my own business?

CC Whatever. Go work that corner, since your dressed like a hooker?

Old lady No, you do that because if you cover 8 Mile you’ll make plenty of money.

CC

I believe you will. I need to get back to work, so shut the fuck up.

Old lady (She walks away with that blank look.)

CC (smiles while mumbling) At least I shut her up since is not hard to shut people up.

George (watches the last bit at the end of the scene)

Hey what was that about?

CC

Never mind. She’s just a negative crappy lady stuck in her ways.

George

Wow. I guess some people can’t change unless they want to change.

CC

You’re right.

George

I always am.

CC

You sound like me, but a guy version, of course.

George

From the looks of things she looks like a hooker. Is she?

CC

She’s dressed for it so I believe so.

George

Wow! A hooker in the suburbs! I’ve never seen that before.

CC

You can say you’ve seen it all now. *Rub your eyes now you can say you’ve seen it.

George (looks at her from a distance, as she’s standing far in that corner)

I sure have. Shit, she looks like a flirty one. Her name should be Coleen Filth.

CC

Why?

George

She looks like it.

CC Really?

George

Just think, when you do comedy you can add her to your act.

CC

I believe you have a point.

George

I do. I better run. Hopefully you won’t see her around unless she ran out of work. She’s too filthy. Shit, nobody would sleep with her in the first place.

Fade to the old lady is still standing there listening. Exterior outside and the lady is staring from a distance.

CC

I’m petitioning to legalize marijuana for recreational reasons.

Former police

Don’t you remember me? You shouldn’t be petitioning, since we have enough criminals in jail.

CC

No, if I memorized everyone’s face, I’d go completely nuts. Former police You must be nuts to petition to legalize pot for recreational reasons.

CC

Whatever. I’m dealing with a bunch of crazies. Former police, walks out of the post office. It’s okay; I understand you’re doing your job.

CC (thinking, as she’s staring at the cop) That guy first said one thing, then said something else. I still remained positive, regardless. I believe he had a split personality, like most people in the world.

Pam (overhears)

CC talk to someone else. Pam You must be for it that’s why you are doing this? CC No, not really, it’s just my job Pam How’s that?

CC

I make money each time someone signs it.

Pam

Really?

CC

Yes. Why are you impressed?

Pam

No. It’s because you’re just making flirty money.

CC

Hey! Somebody ought to do that.

Pam

Try to work somewhere else. Besides, you don’t want to get stuck just making flirty money.

CC

Why? Is it too flirty for your taste? Pam You can say so, since you thought I could hook around. Maybe you should try that?

CC

Are you kidding me?

Pam No. Does it look like I’m a kid to you? CC Yes. We all have a kid in us, but that’s not going to work. I don’t dress like a hooker!

Pam

It will work if you go to a Halloween store and buy a hooker outfit.

CC

How about if I take your outfit, then I can still petition and make that fast cash?

Pam

Screw off. I’ll dress anyway I want to. Bye. No use fussing with you.

CC (pushes the old lady on her shoulder) That’s fine with me I don’t have time to waste, besides you’re just a waste of space anyways, and your taking up my space.

Pam

If anyone’s a waste of space, it’s you just hogging up my corner.

CC

Whatever. Enjoy your corner. I’m out of here.

Fade to:

CC

Hello I’m petitioning to legalize marijuana for recreational reasons. Are you a registered voter?

Scott

Sure I’m registered, and I’m also nutty. Does that count?

CC

Good, since this guy told me people have to be nuts to sign this petition.

Scott

Ha Ha! Why what are you petitioning?

CC

I’m petitioning to legalize marijuana for recreational reasons.

Scott

Shit yeah, I’ll sign it, since people are going to do it anyways. Plus, I’m high now.

CC

I know. Thanks for signing. Scott I signed it twice. I hope it will pass.

CC

Wow, once was enough.

Scott

Oh well. Shit happens when I’m high. I better run.

CC (mumbles)

Fade to:

CC (mumbles) I feel like a therapist because people are just keep telling me their problems, but I should get paid twice as much. Raggedy ass wallet scene George What are you petitioning for?

CC

To legalize marijuana for recreational reasons. George All right I’ll sign it since I believe everything should be on the ballot. Even if your puppet’s ass, I’d sign for it be on the ballot.

CC

Wow. How do you know I have a puppet?

George

I’ve seen you do comedy before.

CC

That’s funny, I haven’t seen you. Where have you’ve seen me?

George

At Mr. Cs. Can I get your business card?

CC

Yes, sure.

George (He pulls out his wallet, to put CC business card in there)

CC

Wow. Your raggedy ass wallet should be a part of show.

George

Really?

CC

Yes, I believe my act would be funnier that way.

George

Go ahead. I’ll let you borrow it without the money. Ha ha. Thanks I might see you perform again.

CC

You should. I’ll be performing this Friday, so come out and see me.

George

I will.

CC (then thinks in an evil way.) I should always give men my business card this way. I can pick them up as they are signing the petition. Excuse me you have strong cologne on! I’m surprised you didn’t kill me off yet with that strong scent.

Foreign guy

You’re too good looking to kill off.

CC

Thanks, but I can’t breathe. Your cologne is so strong. Foreign guy I’m trying to cover up my odor so I put on strong cologne.

CC

Go figure.

Foreign guy

What do you mean by “go figure”?

CC

Never mind.

Foreign guy Why are you talking like way?

CC

I have a right to. It’s freedom of speech so I have a right to say what I want to say.

Foreign guy (Looking confused) Stop acting confused.

CC

I just confuse many people. I tend to do that purposely.

Foreign guy Why?

CC I confuse people to get them to sign the petition papers. It’s kind of like drug dealing without the drugs. Foreign guy For what? Marijuana? Don’t need it. My eyes are automatically red.

CC Really?

Foreign guy (Points to his eyes) Yes look at me.

CC

I’m looking at you.

Foreign guy

Take a closer look.

CC

I did, without my glasses on.

Foreign guy

My eyes are red because I’m tried, stressed out and hungry, and I don’t need a joint to satisfy my craving, unlike you.

CC Wow. That’s one thing I don’t have is a craving, because I’m trying to work, so get the fuck out of my sight.

Foreign guy

Whatever. I don’t believe you.

CC

Believe what you want to believe Fade to:

CC

Hi. Are you a registered voter? I’m petitioning to legalize marijuana for recreational reasons.

Al drops his mouth in a funny way. And he rolls his eyes.

Al (up close shot) Hell no, you got to be kidding.

CC

I’m not kidding. I’m saying the truth. Al We’ll the truth will never set you free.

CC

It should because that’s all I do is speak the truth.

Al

We’ll you can give me a bunch of horseshit. We’ll you might be giving me a bunch of horse shit. Right?

CC (Holds on to her chest.) That’s one thing I don’t do is shit out shit as I’m talking.

Al

Most people do.

CC

We’ll I’m not like most. I’m different, unique and one of a kind.

Al

I can see that.

CC

At least you can see something. I thought you were blind.

Al

I’m not, but they say love is blind.

CC

It’s not blind. I can see past what I want to see.

Al

Oh good. It goes to show you’re not blind, unlike others, my eyes are failing me.

CC

Oh, I see. Al At least you can see. I can’t. I’m out of here.

CC

Don’t trip over yourself, if that’s the case.

Al

I’ll try not to, smart-ass.

CC

I’m smart, and I have an ass, that’s why I’m a smart ass.

Al

Good for you.

CC (As she’s staring at her own ass) It is.

New scene

CC

I should be running for something while I’m petitioning.

Crazy guy

If you run for president, I’d vote for you.

CC

Awe thanks.

Crazy Guy

I feel women are smarter. At least I know you’ll stick to your word.

CC

Hey somebody ought to.

Crazy guy Sure.

CC

What’s your name? Crazy Guy Roger.

What’s yours?

CC Jane.

Crazy guy.

Mary Jane, do you get it. Mary Jane. I see why you’re petitioning for marijuana, he, ha, ha. I now get it. Crazy guy Sure I get it. I may look stupid, but I’m really smart.

CC

I now know why some stupid people look smart, which I thought over many times. Crazy guy (does that stupid look) Do you mean by this kind of look, because I can look stupid if you want me to?

CC

Yes. You do a good job acting. Crazy guy We all can be actors. Some of us show it better then others. (Check my out this crazy side. I’ll show you my stupid look is.

CC

So if I make a movie with someone acting stupid, maybe you can be in it.

Crazy Guy (smiles and walks away) Sure I can as long as it’s paid I’ll do it.

CC

If you throw yourself into character, then you’ll do a great job.

Fade to new scene (assistant notes see if it fits) New scene with the George character See’s CC petitioning, then he starts talking to her.

Guy

Tell me a joke. Make me laugh.

CC

All right, people are hooked to their iPhones, like they are hooked to my puppets flat ass. At least she gets lots of complements.

Guy

Wow. You’re funny.

CC

Yes, but not funny looking, unlike this other comedian that has a strange look on him.

Guy

Ha, ha. You can make anyone fall over laughing and rolling over their belly right?

CC

Thanks. I can’t help it. Guy Most people can’t help themselves if they need therapy.

CC

Do you mean with all the therapy in the world that they can’t help themselves? Guy Yes. You got that right.

CC

I always do. See I write at coffee shops and I see stupid people everywhere I go. Since I’ve studied them by watching their expressions.

Guy(Smiles, and points to him self)

See I’m the start one; I don’t go to coffee shops.

CC

I know so your saving lots of money.

Guy

somebody ought to. Actually I’m a spender but I don’t spend money on crap that comes out of the blender.

CC

Oh once a week indulge having coffee.

Guy

Wow. I bet after coffee you are just jumpy and all over the place.

CC

Yes at times I can be that way. I’m more of a tea drinker.

Guy

You are?

CC

Why are you impressed? Guy Yes I’m impressed because you are beautiful. So give me all your petition papers I’ll sign them all and make you rich, since I know your getting paid with each signature.

CC

Thanks, but in reality you can only sign once, because a repeated signature never seams to work.

Guy

You’re very smart. I bet you’re a genus.

CC (Almost turns around half way and shy’s away) Thank you. You’re not the first who’ve said that.

Guy

Just think of me as original I better run. CC Okay then have fun jogging. (Then thinks) There he is running right out of my life like most handsome men.

Fade to: The same old lady coming back to fuss. Older lady You’re really dying hard to get all the signatures, aren’t you?

CC

Yes, why wouldn’t I? I’m not the type to give up quickly.

Older lady You should give it up. It’s getting cold out. Give it up. It’s getting cold out.

CC

It’s okay I can freeze my ass off, and still get all the signatures I want to get. Older lady Are you kidding me?

CC

No, I’m making money.

Older lady

You are?

CC

Yes what do you think that I’m freezing my ass off for no reason?

Older lady

Good thing your ass didn’t fall off yet.

CC (I look back at my ass) It won’t as long as it’s attached.

Older lady

Hold tight to it.

CC

That’s all I can do when it comes to making money.

Older lady

Go ahead you can die hard trying.

CC

That’s all I’m doing, while I’m out here freezing.

CC (thinking) Some people are pretty negative maybe it’s just their intensions to be that way, and they’re too stupid to realize it.

Fade to:

Skinny I think everyone has a right to get high, so there shouldn’t be a petition on it.

CC

Oh, it’s you. Why? Are you high now, or are you just affecting people around you?

Skinny (joint in her hand) You can say both.

CC Wow.

It figures since you smell like a joint.

Skinny

I smell like a joint to for your movie, since I should have been the lead actress anyways.

CC

Why are you saying that, if you have no eyebrows? If that’s the case, how are you going to be expressive? If that’s the case you can’t be expressive.

Skinny

Eye bows have nothing to do with being expressive and I can prove it to you.

CC

Yes it does and it shows you can act, by the look in your eyes.

Skinny

All right, now you sound like a professional.

CC

Sure I am. I’ve cast enough people, so I should know who’s expressive and who isn’t. But when I saw you say if anyone wants to get high they can get high I thought, your acting skills were great without any eyebrows.

Skinny (points to herself) See, you should have gave me the lead role.

CC

Are you kidding me? You’d drive me up the wall, so it wouldn’t be a benefit.

Skinny

Never mind. I’ll just make my own movie. I’m out of here. **Never mind. I’ll just make my own movie since I’d rather see that then deal with. You. Bye I’m out of here. (END)


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Submission Details: Literary Work submitted by Jane Dabish from United States on 07-Dec-2015 16:23 (Last edited on 07-Dec-2015 16:23).
The Copyright work has been viewed 515 times (since 22 Nov 2010).

Jane Dabish Contact Details: Email: artactivity@hotmail.com Phone: 248 821-7288



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